Chapter Ten – Their Attraction and Influence

There is nothing more beautiful in this life than a good friendship. Matthew asks, “What constitutes a true friend?” A true friend energizes us, inspires us, and challenges us to be a better person. A true friend brings out the very best in us. This is why the saints are such good friends. They encourage us to love God and neighbor more fully and challenge us to use the daily events of our lives to become a-better-version-of-ourselves.

But what Matthew notes is truly amazing about the saints is their method. They don’t preach endless sermons, and they don’t try to impose their views on others. They challenge, inspire, and encourage us simply by living their own lives to the fullest. That is the social dynamic of holiness. It is attractive and it is contagious. They “preach” by the “practice” of their lives.

None of us realize how much our actions influence others. Others are watching everything we do. Everything we say is being listened to. The influence of our words and actions is contributing to the way others live their lives. In Matthew Kelly’s A Call to Joy, he writes, “You will learn more from your friends than you ever will from books. Choose your friends wisely.”

As you can imagine, Matthew meets thousands of people and relates the times he meets people who are dating a person they know they do not want to spend the rest of their lives with. When he asks them why they stay with that person then they reply, “I don’t want to be alone.” Isn’t it better to be alone than to be with the wrong person? Why are we afraid of loneliness when we have the opportunity to befriend people who inspire us – like the saints?

Matthew asks us to consider wisely when choosing our friends. We need to surround ourselves with friends who are striving to do better themselves. And if you are young and single, and sense that you are called to marriage, seek a soul mate, a spouse, a companion for the journey who has this quality. 

The saints were remarkable men and women who are extraordinary because of the ordinary way they lived their lives. They strove to grow in virtue through the ordinary things of everyday life. If they were caring for the sick they grew in humility. If they were educating children they were growing in patience. As Saint Therese of Lisieux said, “Do the little things with great love.” Go forth and be examples of good living – goodness is contagious.

Question

How does your circle of best friends stack up to what Matthew discussed? Are they helping you become the-best-version-of-yourself?  

In peace,
Dan